EMOTIONAL
PERSONAL
SOCIAL
The problem
What does reality mean?
Life is simple. Life is complicated. Both statements are correct.
How is it possible?
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Quantum physics tells us of parallel universes, of empty spaces, of a microscopic reality that has nothing to do with our world, with which we see every day of our lives. Nobody fully understands quantum mechanics and nobody understands what consciousness is, or how it works.
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Have you ever stopped to think that everything that seems so solid is practically empty space?
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For the simple reason that we observe the trajectory of a particle - without that observation altering its motion - we change the result. It is simply incredible to know that the result of a quantum experiment can vary depending on whether we decide to measure one property of the particles used or another. If the way the world behaves depends on how - or if - we look at it, what can "reality" really mean?
Could it be that we produce the measurement results ourselves?
Is it true that, observing the universe, he changes course?
Or, in other words, does the mere fact of observing reality make it change?
According to Einstein, "it is our theories that condition our observations." One of the truths of life that we have to come to terms with is that our brains deceive us, our senses deceive us, and our bodies deceive us. Each eye is equivalent to a one megapixel camera, making the image of the world so extraordinary and detailed due to the filling processes that the brain does to complete the picture. Too many unknowns , many lessons to learn. We are stardust and we are connected with the universe and perhaps that is why it is necessary to embark on our path towards transcendental experiences that raise our frequencies. energetic .
Our senses, our minds deceive us. Dan Ariely was right in his book "The Traps of Desire," when he stated that "we think we know when we are lying to ourselves, but we don't really know. And here's the problem: we rarely know the true reasons for our actions. Our brains are in collusion all the time. "
Vain and egotistical, the brain does not seek the truth but rather to survive, always trying to convince itself of the most comfortable option that best adapts to its own reality. That is why memory and unconsciousness are responsible for adjusting what does not fit, changing what you do not like, eliminating what hurts and highlighting what you like.
What about this world?
About us?
As we are? What do we need?
What is our true and authentic existential narrative?
What are we transmitting daily, unconsciously or consciously as an electromagnetic fingerprint in our own lives?
How to change it to improve our lives?
The ostrich complex
The art of making life bitter
Within that maelstrom of unknowns about quantum physics and consciousness, immediate and mundane concerns accumulate, such as defining our clothing style, knowing and loving our silhouettes and becoming the successful people that we would like us to be. We have not been educated about emotional intelligence, just as we are taught mathematics in schools, for example. Perhaps everything would be simpler if our parents would have the obligation to study a learning course on how to become our spiritual gurus. Unfortunately only a few follow this call and they can create a great positive impact in the lives of their children. The same goes for teachers.
Do not blame anyone, the system is what it is and you do what you can to win in your inner struggle this cruel battle derived from your own expectations.
We experience emotions and feelings every day and on many occasions we live them on automatic pilot. They come to the surface and before we know it, haha, we have reacted.
"The personal and social cost of our emotional deficiencies is enormous. We are frustrated because we have expectations. If we had no desires, we could not survive either, neither as individuals nor as a species. But are we really aware of the high sacrifice that we pay with our own lives, just in order to live serially? To follow goals and objectives learned in a manipulative society? "
When things are not going as well as we have hoped, when stress turns to anxiety, or perhaps when we do not feel good about ourselves, many of us go for the ostrich technique and go shopping.
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"The ostrich thinks it is hidden from the others by putting its stupid head on the ground. It thinks that by not seeing each other, we cannot see it, that is why it is so easy to hunt it." Jack Prelutsky
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We do the same when we want to run away from our emotions and do not attend to our inner pain. Not facing time with our problems can cause us a huge personal and social cost.
Wasting money, going shopping, trying to pretend a social level that does not correspond to reality, is a mistake that can only take its toll on us to leave us locked in routines and predictable habits of a catastrophic fiasco in our lives.
There is a principle in psychology called 90/10 and it tells us that when we feel disturbed, about 90% of the agitation is related to our past and has nothing to do with what we think is upsetting us and that in In general, only about 10% of our disturbance is related to present experience. How can we control our impulses and emotional states?
The saddest thing that happens in these circumstances is the fact of not being able to grow in our personalities, to create and strengthen our own style and our authentic identity, because we will be so cloistered to the demands of a critical and superficial world that we do not even have the opportunity to learn to really breathe. Breathing (inhale / exhale) is synonymous with acceptance. It does not require resignation, but emotional skill to know when to close a chapter and start something new, with a transcendental foundation for our mental health.
MOOD regulatory hormones
Do you know them?
There are two hormones, serotonin and dopamine, that determine people's mood, sleep, and digestion. Dopamine, also known as the "pleasure molecule," is the hormone that activates the reward circuits in the brain and motivates us to do something.
The book "The molecule of more", by Daniel Z. Lieberman and Michael D. Long, explains how dopamine can predict our behavior through a spectacular range of human efforts:
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1. The anticipation of a reward: dopamine is secreted in anticipation of a reward and motivates us to obtain the reward. However, dopamine can make us want to acquire or possess things that we don't even like.
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2. It can also increase our tolerance for the things that we encounter on a daily basis. For example, there are experts who say that sugar can be just as addictive as cocaine. As we develop our spectrum of tolerance, we want more and more. Eat more candy, watch more TV shows, spend more time on social media, buy new things, and that vicious cycle of "wanting more" will go on and on. We will never be completely satisfied.
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3. When the expected reward is omitted, neurons become depressed. This system is key in our learning.
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According to The Startup, "Social media is designed to grab user attention with a combination of good UI [user interface] design and psychology that create an addictive mix for users. Applications constantly fight for our attention by adjusting their features to keep users on their phones for as long as possible. "
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"The average millennial checks his phone 157 times a day." There is no question that dopamine plays an important role in the ability to achieve this result.
Dopamine and
personality
Anyone who has ever tasted a piece of chocolate or received many likes on a social media post is familiar with dopamine. This neurotransmitter is released as a result of pleasant or unpleasant stimuli, which ends up modulating the behavior, causing the person to move closer or further away from the sources of those stimuli.
Elevated dopamine levels are linked to hyperactivity, hyper-sexuality, and hyper-socialization. The disorders most frequently associated with dopamine are schizophrenia and Parkinson's disease.
Researchers in Germany found that in those considered calm and confident, the basal dopamine concentrations detected in the amygdala were low, while in fearful and stress-prone people the concentrations were high.
Other studies have linked a lack of dopamine with weight gain, socialization problems, apathy, or anhedonia, which is the inability to experience pleasure, and loss of interest or satisfaction in almost all activities.
According to the principles of conditioning, those with a lower concentration of dopamine would feel the need to eat more to obtain the same sensation of pleasure.
Why are we obsessed with the things we want, only to get bored when we get them?
Why is addiction perfectly logical for an addict?
Why does love change so quickly from passion to indifference?
Why are some people liberal and others conservative?
Why do we always hope to find solutions, even in the darkest of times?
Why are we so disappointed when our illusions are not fulfilled?
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Tell me how you dress ...
and I will tell you how you are
Do you know yourself?
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Do you reflect your mood in the clothes you wear every day?
What color do you usually wear the most in your clothes?
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What do you feel most comfortable with?
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How would you define your style?
Do you usually read fashion magazines to follow trends?
Do you buy clothes online?
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Do you usually return the clothes you buy?
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Do you usually keep a lot of clothes in your closet that you don't usually wear?
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Do you buy without really knowing why you do it?
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Do you know what type of silhouette you have and what type of clothing suits you best?
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Do you know which colors favor your skin type and how each of them affect your moods?
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Do you think that your clothing style accurately reflects who you are?
Menia, 23 years old
“I usually buy a lot online, but I think I only wear 5% of the clothes that I keep in my closet. Sometimes I decide on colors and models that soon stop liking me, simply because I don't think they go with my body or because I worry that people will look at me if I dare to wear a very colorful outfit. "
Anne R, 31
“I am a coach and I usually dress almost all the time in sports clothes, I have a hard time deciding what to wear when I have to attend a special event, such as going to the Opera.
People are surprised when I start to talk about other topics that are not related to sports. "
Lucia V, 40 years old
“Everyone classifies my way of dressing as hippie, or even worse, they tell me that I'm going very retro because I love loading my look with accessories.
I don't consider myself a hippie. I don't understand why people associate my personality and my appearance with this lifestyle. "
Your clothing describes a plausible narrative about you
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"5 minutes"
"These things? Oh, I understand. YOU think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and select, I don't know, that misshapen blue sweater because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about it. what you will wear. But what you don't know is that this sweater is not only blue, it is not turquoise, nor is it navy, it is actually cerulean. (…) However, that blue represents millions of dollars, and many jobs And it's funny that you think you chose something that exempts you from the fashion industry, when, in fact, you are wearing a sweater that was selected for you, by people like us, among a lot of things. "
Miranda Priestly in "The Devil Wears Prada"
Psychology says that clothing leads to a search for identity or differentiation from others, as well as a way of identifying with a certain social group, therefore, it is derived, in large part from the music we listen to. However, there is no correct way to dress, but there is to define the personality.
According to the psychologist Santiago Salamanca, it is enough to observe a person's clothing for five minutes, to "draw many conclusions about it."
The wardrobe that you wear on a daily basis does not only serve the purpose of covering the body. It also has the power to give security and satisfaction; likewise, it highlights the figure, provokes attraction and elegance. In short, what you wear every day speaks volumes about you.
To what extent does appearance influence our way of judging others?
How to improve our image in tune with our personality and reflect our authenticity without falling into the trap of comparisons?
What do we need to learn to make less mistakes when buying those products that fit in the most precise and faithful way to our physical and psychological profile?
The halo effect is a tendency to make our impressions and opinions about certain characteristics of a subject or object depend on the impression that other characteristics have made on us before.
Scientific literature shows that the first impression is obtained in milliseconds, and is strongly conditioned by appearance .
It has also been shown that physical attractiveness is a decisive variable in persuasiveness, and that the way we dress can determine not only how others see us, but also how we feel.
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In reality, just few of us are totally satisfied with our appearance and we are getting worse, because experiencing the culture of social media and advertisements, we are suffering from the depressing need to achieve unreal perfection.
