RELIEVES STRESS AND ANXIETY
BOOSTS CONFIDENCE
SHOWS COMMITMENT
STRENGTHENS COUPLES
IMPROVES HEALTH
Why we have trouble arguing calmly
Unfortunately, being logical, reasonable and open-minded is easier said than done. When we argue with others, their arguments will inevitably call into question our beliefs, values, experience and competence.
These challenges are not easy to face calmly, especially if the topic is one we care about. This is because we like to think of ourselves as effective and capable, rather than mistaken or misguided. We also care about our social standing and like to project confidence.
Arguing morally isn’t easy, but here are a few tips to help:
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Avoid thinking that when someone starts up an argument, they are mounting an attack. Reasoned argument acknowledges a person’s rationality, and that their opinion matters.
Everyone has a desperate need to be heard. Practice the active listening. When you listen actively, you are fully engaged and immersed in what the other person is saying. Below are some features of active listening: Neutral and nonjudgmental; Patient; Verbal and nonverbal feedback to show signs of listening (e.g., smiling, eye contact, leaning in, mirroring); Asking questions; Reflecting back what is said; Asking for clarification; Summarizing; Showing respect for others opinion.
Work out where you differ. Don’t be too quick to judge your opponent’s standards of argument.
Employ a compromise statement. Try and work with them to clarify their reasoning.
When you come to a conclusion, congratulate each other.
Conflict is made positive by being tackled and dealt with properly, bringing couples closer together. There is nothing wrong with having a different point of view. Different ideas, in fact, can lead to wonderful discussions and insightful discoveries at work and at home. If you're going to argue, just make sure you take turns talking and listening to each other fully.
Comments